| Randolph Charlotin. 9th October, 2008 - 12:07 am
 It came as no surprise when Oakland Raiders' owner Al Davis fired Lane Kiffin last week. In a 90 minute press conference, Davis explained why he made the decision, declaring Kiffin wasn’t the person he thought he hired.
Some take Davis’ statement about Kiffin as hyperbole. In reality, Lane Kiffin really isn’t Lane Kiffin. But this mystery man, fueled by revenge, had a plan to bring down the Al Davis Empire and sabotage the Oakland Raiders.
In the week since the firing, an investigation has uncovered a trail of lies, deceit, and murder.
OK, no murder, but lies and deceit for sure.
The honorable Davis only said so much during his press conference. But through investigative reporting, this expose reveals all the secrets in this NFL version of a True Hollywood Stories.
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So who is this man masquerading as Lane Kiffin? He is actually Lane Thomas, but he has a blood connection to current Tampa Bay Buccaneers' Head Coach and former Raiders' Coach Jon Gruden.
Back when Jon Gruden was eight, he “married” his neighbor Angie Montgomery. They didn’t have kids, but they made a blood pact similar to the blood brothers agreement. The two each poked a finger to draw blood and pressed the wounds together, forever linking them.
Years later Angela married, but Gruden’s DNA from that blood pact remained in her system and was passed on to her children, including Lane.
Lane knows his connection to Jon and held a grudge towards Davis for trading Jon for a package of draft picks (first and second round picks in 2002 and 2003) and money. Lane felt a gold watch, a Disney family vacation, and a year’s supply of Rice-a-Roni (the San Francisco treat) should have been included. Lane carried this chip on his shoulder throughout his life and was determined to get revenge.
He determined long ago the best way was to get inside and blow up the Raiders from within. Kiffin did so by quickly working his way up the coaching ranks and studying Al Davis’ personality. By saying the right things (“I’m in awe of your presence and knowledge, even at your advanced age, Mr. Davis!”), Kiffin was hired as the Raiders' head coach last year, and he could go forward with imploding Oakland.
Not everything worked as planned. Davis is correct when he charged Kiffin of not wanting to draft quarterback JaMarcus Russell. Kiffin favored trading the pick and later selecting University of Florida quarterback Chris Leak; Kiffin thought he could fool Davis because Leak led the Gators to a national championship earlier in the year, but Davis trusted his scouts over Kiffin. Oakland’s scouts determined that Leak was a product of the spread option and lacked the arm strength to direct an offense designed to throw deep often.
One accomplishment Kiffin can claim is trading receiver Randy Moss for a mere fourth round draft pick. To do so, Kiffin had to orchestrate the tampering that Davis correctly charged the New England Patriots of.
Before Moss left for vacation last year, Kiffin had someone steal all of Randy’s watches. Moss was on his way to vacation in Florida but encountered delays. By the time he arrived at Miami International Airport, Moss was unaware of the time.
In the same airport were some scouts from the Patriots, in town to work out University of Miami safety Brandon Merriweather, New England’s eventual first round draft pick. Catching a glimpse of the familiar logo, Moss asked the scout for the time.
That exchange violated NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell’s new standard of tampering that clearly states a player and any team representative from an opposing team can only breathe common air but are forbidden from any form of contact, including eye contact. “If players can communicate on the field of play with just a glance, then it’s possible to do the same off the field,” states article IV appendix iii footnote 43 route 66 number 867-5309 (Jenny) of the new restriction.
The calculated sabotage, combined with the war of words through the media, eventually led to Kiffin’s firing, but the damage has been done, as all can see.
As for the Kiffin name, Lane created it. It’s based on a name that’s synonymous with team destruction: Millen, as in Matt Millen, former general manager of the Detroit Lions. Just change a few letters, and voila!
And that’s the NFL version of the True Hollywood Story of Lane Kiffin and the Oakland Raiders.
For more by Randolph Charlotin, check out his blog at http://www.newenglandpatriotsnews.com/randolphc/weblog/. He can be contacted at lordrc@netzero.net. |
