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As I sat and watched College Football Final, (with Rece Davis, Lou Holtz, and Mark May) I realized something... I really, and I mean REALLY hate those guys. Within the NFL you have such personalities as John Madden, Joe Buck, and even the greatest sports journalist of all-time, Tony Kornheiser. Don't get me wrong, I love college football. I just hate almost every single personality associated with it.
Living in the Southeast, I am stuck with some of the worst commentators for most of the SEC games. Lincoln Financial took over the Jefferson Pilot broadcasts this year, and they kept the 3 Idiot Dave's intact. If I see "Buzz" Baker hold up another piece of paper, I think I might start making phone calls. I suppose I should blame the SEC for allowing Lincoln Financial to air their games, but I just don't feel like it. I also don't feel like listening to Vern Lundquist second-guess every call that is made by officials. If he wanted to be an official, he shouldn't have gone to college. His companion Gary Danielson is not any better either, as he tries to predict almost every play before it happens.
Then the Notre Dame/Michigan State game rolled around and AH! WHAT SWEET SALVATION! I finally got to listen to Brent Musburger and Kirk Herbstreit, two of the only college analysts that I enjoy. Then halftime rolled around, and I got stuck listening to Doug Flutie and those other idiots with ABC. Doug Flutie? DOUG FLUTIE? Why should he be an analyst? What qualifications does he have?
A better question is what qualifications do Lou Holtz and Mark May have? Lou Holtz shouldn't be on television. He is ugly, old, and cannot speak. He sounds like a beaver gargling mouthwash when he speaks. I swear I think I hear his hip crack everytime he uses the word "the." He's got more of a speech impediment than Stephen Hawkings. I could deal with Lou if he was surrounded by quality co-analysts. Obviously he isn't. Mark May has a fifth grade vocabulary, and is the most boring person on earth. He's a robot, and an ignorant one at that. I don't understand how the Hall of Fame hasn't reconsidered this stiff.
Of course, little can be said of their fellow anchorman Rece Davis, who always has to start CFF with some sort of a "Hut!" and catch. Laurece (It's his name, don't laugh at me. . .laugh at him) is an Alabama alum, so I have to give him some credit. I just feel that a guy with no background in football should not be able to pretend he's a quarterback. Who does he think he is? Brian Jackson? (Look it up guys.)
Now I'm waiting for Sunday to roll around so that I can finally listen to some actual SPORTS JOURNALISTS and people who have significant opinions, and express them appropriately. And all I have to say is. . .
God Bless you Michael Irvin and Steve Young.
(My name is Kyle Driskell, and if you have any comments or questions about this column, please contact me at Kylebwski1@aol.com)
Note: I'm sorry if I offended Steve Hawkings, I know he shouldn't be compared to Lou Holtz.
